IS IT ME?

Everyday I have the same routine. No deviation, no need to change things because it works. This blog is not really going to be about mental illness, and even though I want to keep with that genre, there are times when things in our lives are more interesting. No talk of OCD or Bipolar or even anxieties. Today is a new day with new thoughts.

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I woke this morning at 2 a.m. and I was out of my element. I grabbed my cane *oh i fall a lot so it's to keep my knees from any more scars* and go sit outside. Now, I don't particularly enjoy the outdoors, especially when it is very hot but this morning it was very nice. I light up a cigarette, sit back and close my eyes until I feel something extremely slimy touch my foot. I am not sure if I ever mentioned that I do not like surprises, spiders, snakes, gingivitis, ingrown toenails and an assortment of other things, but I found a new dislike: SLUG.

At first I could only feel the slime, then it was weird because it almost seemed like a glowing dog turd was moving. It was the first time I had actually been around a slug, but there she was, by my foot and leaving a glowing trail behind her. I actually freaked out so much that I leaned over and puked. Well, more like dry heaves, but that counts as puking to me. I just happened to have my laptop with me and I Googled slug. To my surprise they will not harm me, but every time I looked at it I would dry heave. I could not leave because I felt as though I was kidnapped by this gooey mass.

I hate to finish the story on this note, and please believe me when I say I had no idea what I was doing. I leaned over in the chair watching this snotty goo get ready to go over my foot when I threw up bile on not only my foot, but also the slug. I killed her. I freaked out because it started to pull it's body up and turn. I watched in horror as it transformed before my eyes. My heart was breaking for this glob and there was nothing I could do for it. The worse part of the entire ordeal is how long it took it to shrivel up. Yes, I said shrivel up. For an entire hour I was stuck in my patio chair watching the death of this innocent thing. I said a prayer for it. Yes, I realize how ridiculous that sounds. One of the grossest things I have ever came across and I prayed for it.

The weird part of this blog is I didn't mean to even write about that slug. I planned on writing about sitting on the back porch at 2 a.m. and hearing my neighbors ocean sounds cd. I know it is the cd because at one time I had that very same cd. I am outside, not even close to their bedroom and I can hear their calming cd. I wondered how loud does that have to be for me to hear it like it was broadcast over an intercom system. Then it hit me....they are very old, they more than likely have hearing aids, and the chance of them not wearing their hearing aids in bed are probably high. What a weird thing to think about. I think about those things....I am always asking others "Is it me......" because I am never sure that others see the things I do.