How do you tell your mind to slow down? There are medications that I take that is supposed to slow my thoughts, and although they do a great job, my mind still races at a different pace. I start so many things, have so many ideas, study so many things but never do I finish anything. It is like my brain wants so many things at the same time. When there is this need for so much at the same time it is impossible to focus on one thing. Those who have followed me, know me, or just read about me realize this to be true.
I know that the only thing I am good at is journaling. It used to be the feel of pencil on paper would be enough for my journaling. I still make my lists with pencil on paper. I don't think I will ever be able to change that to the computer. I have to be able to see, to read, to change, to arrange and to add to my lists. My journals, though, have taken on a new venue which, although I am not touching the words like actually writing it on paper, I am about to get it out of my mind. It ended up doing what it was supposed to do; get thoughts out of my mind so I can move on.
I will admit that I love art, history, and science. They are not always in that order, but they are still on the list. Love of art to me is quite possibly different than it is to anyone else in the world. With art, I love to find the patterns, the mistakes that make the picture perfect, the rhythms of the stroke that make the movement, and the background of a picture that no one notices. Art keeps me busy in the best way possible.
With history, I love the personal side of any story. At first, when I was young, I believed everything I was told. I think that is how it is supposed to word though. We are built as children to believe those older than we, those who know more than we, those who tell the stories. As we grow older and mature though, our minds find out that some things we knew as children are just stories with no substance. There is no Santa, no Tooth Fairy, George Washington was not the first President. When history became interesting to me was the discovery of the lie of the first Presidents. Since that discovery, my love of facts have been somewhat an obsession. I have to research until I find the truth.
Science has only been a passion of mine for a few years. It took the internet to introduce me to science. I started out wondering about certain chemicals and minerals that the body needs and doesn't need. Then it began to grow to chemical compounds, what certain things happen when mixed together. How to make fun things like slime, silly putty and many other fun things. It also led me to love watching certain shows on television that use science as a show.
I have always loved to study other cultures, and that means their language as well. The bad part about that is I always start out gung-ho but move on to another language before really getting around to really knowing how to hold a conversation. I guess that is why I have always felt that I never complete anything. I start so much, but fail at finishing. The question is, this flaw of mine, will I ever accomplish anything other than getting my journals published?
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